[How-To] Handling my anxiety in the Nancy’s way…

Since I made the decision to take a break at home for a week before start a new job (again?!?!). I have learned something about “Patience”

Once I uses the dictionary Dict Box from Evolly App (the most favorite dictionary application that I’ve ever paid) to translate the word “Patience”… look what I found…

Tolerance…

Good-natured tolerance of delay or incompetence…

You know, I understand those meaning completely. But the point is I don’t like the feeling when I have to wait for something.

Why?

Because I hate the feeling that my anxiety always appears when I have to wait. I could not control that. Even I distracted myself from something else like reading a book, watching telly. It worked sometimes. But all anxiety still there.. somewhere in my head.

It’s normal, isn’t it? But it always cost my energy to control and calm all my anxiety I got at that moment.

So here I’d like to share how I handle my anxiety. Only in my way. I’m not sure it will work for you or not, but yeah.. it works for me..

Do nothing for a moment

When I feel or aware that my anxiety is going after me. The first thing I mostly do is.. NOTHING. Yes, just do nothing. I mostly sit on the sofa or lay down in bed and stay still there for a moment. And I do nothing even my brain is running or spinning. I let my brain runs and spins as it wants. This phase mostly takes for ten or a half an hour for me.

Listen to the favorite music.

This always works for me. Listening to the music always help when I have all emotional feelings. Anxiety too. But just have to be careful about the genre of the music. For the anxiety, I’d like to go to YouTube and search with “music to release anxiety”. Then the list will be showed. And select one clip, close my eyes, release all intense of my body and just listen. I mostly take for an hour or more because I always look for MY TYPE of the music I really want to listen and it always depends on my feeling at that moment. That’s why it takes more time.

Hot shower or bathtub

It helps! YES. Hot shower/bathtub while listening to the favorite music… always nice solution to break my own thought of anxiety, worries, overthinking, etc. If I want to feel better sooner, I would read a book while I was in the bathtub.

Read a book to pause the anxiety

While I was listening to the music and was in the bathtub, I was usually reading a book as well. Any kind of book I like. I meant.. any. But at that moment I would read the book about how to deal/cope with worrying, such as “Stop thinking, start living” by Richard Carlson. (I know it looks damaged. I read it too often.. so..)

Go to sleep

Yes, the best way to handle my anxiety.. I would go to sleep when I can. But sometimes when my brain is not shutting down and still thinking whatever… I could not sleep anyway.

But… Nowadays, I use the Self hypnosis application. It could help me to sleep sooner when I really needed. Sometimes (actually a lot of times) we cannot control things. But.. we have to accept that first, that we cannot control things. We have to accept and admit and let things go. We cannot accept immediately when thing happens, but time and practicing would help.

I will set myself to sleep (if I could) And use the self hypnosis to help me sleep easier. To be honest, I never be able to end any session. Always fell asleep before. Even it has not finished, at least it helps me to sleep.

Talk to someone you trust for 100%.. YES Only 100%..

Once I talked/shared my worries or anxiety, even I did not have any answer yet.. But I always feel relief, relax and calm, so I can have the fresh brain to re-think about what I do worries. And it solved..

But I have to find someone who I can trust them for 100%.

This is the hardest thing for me. Why? Because I have a trust issue. I rarely trust someone for 100%. I can count those people in my life.

Here are the some characteristic(s) of someone I trust…

  • I need someone who knows how to respect other people.
  • I need someone who would not judge me.
  • I need someone who would not tell or announce my things to anyone.
  • I need someone who can share their opinion without any bias.
  • I need someone who does not have any relevant or can take advantage from the thing I share.
  • etc…

See? It’s the hardest to find someone who has what I mentioned.

Normally I talk to my boyfriend, my (best) friend(s). But sometimes they know me well, sometimes they will put their judgement. So they will agreed everything I said because they don’t want to make me feel bad. So sometimes I choose to talk with my counselor, because she has all characteristics that I mentioned before and since I have met her for a few years, always no judgement me by her. So sometimes if you want to talk to someone you really trust. Talking to the counselor is another very good option.

So here are the ways that I would use to handle my anxiety. And I know you have another way to handle as well, right? So please share your ways with me. I’m looking forward to read your idea from you.

Love,

Nancy J.

 

Note:

This post was drafted somewhere in October 2018, but I just posted!

 

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21/10/2018 : Cloudy

Recently, heavy rain here. And I’d like to take photo of the sky from my bedroom’s window.

20/10/2018 (Yesterday) : Cloudy shot

Someone said WOW.

I might say Nature creation, Scary, Sad and LAZY!!!

It was heavy rain yesterday… really heavy…

That’s good it’s weekend. No need to go out, just lie down, Netflix and read a book.

21/10/2018 : Still cloudy shot

Today is better than yesterday. Still rain, yes. But not heavy as yesterday.

But we never know that it will rain heavily tomorrow or not. Even we look into the weather forecast application and it says No rain tomorrow, it doesn’t mean tomorrow will have no rain for 100%. The point is we still should be ready for the rain by take an umbrella when we go out for example. Because we know this season is raining. Then we should be ready for it. No matter what.

Like our lives.

We never be able to know what is going to happen tomorrow.

We never be able to control everything in the past and in the future, except the present moment.

We never be able to prevent everything 100% in our lives. Or stop it.

Never.

We only be able to prepare ourselves to be ready when the rain comes.

We only be able to learn from the mistake in the past and change the way we thought to not make the mistake again.

We only be able to stay in the present moment.

We only be able to “Predict” what is going to happen in the future for preparation ourselves to be ready for it.

Sometimes we let ourselves to be outside from the present. Sometimes we get lost from the moment in front of us.

That’s normal. It always happens.

But when we realize the awareness that we are not in the present moment. We just try to get back from the maze to the present moment.

Sometimes we could make it.

Sometimes not.

It’s okay. It always be like this.

Just make sure that we don’t give up.

When we noticed we may imagine that we are lost in the woods…

“Oh, we get lost again. It’s okay. Where are we now? Where can we feel our breathing? Okay, we feel our breathing now. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale… Okay, we are in the present moment now. Well done.”

Don’t forget to cheer ourselves up when we made it.

Don’t forget to aware that’s normal if we failed.

Don’t forget that we wouldn’t give up. And we could make it.

I’m not an expert. I’m still practicing. Sometimes I could make it. Sometimes not.

I just cheer myself up when I could make it.

And I just don’t give up when I failed.

It’s just the cloudy here, and it will be gone soon.

The Trigger

The Trigger

Long time no write. So I will write whatever I want (ha ha) and sorry if you all don’t get my point that I want to communicate to you.

One day I was watching telly and (accidentally) there was a scene that reminded me one page of my life. Then I think I found the trigger for that story.

I had not been thought about that for a long time ago. I meant really very long. But once I found that trigger, it hardly to stop thinking about it. Because I know, it’s still my nightmare. And  it still here, it never leave. I think we couldn’t forget anything that happened in our lives. Really could not. We just don’t think about it, but it doesn’t mean it’s gone or disappeared.

That trigger made me feel bad.

That trigger made me feel sad.

That trigger made me feel guilty.

That trigger made me feel unforgiveness.

I know I must move on. I know that happened in the past, it lived in the past. And I should not let it be influence myself too much.

Yes, I know. And I think we all know the way you should do. But we always know, sometimes we cannot move on for something happened into your life. Especially when you were the one who made decision.

But it was good at that moment, I could find the distraction and made me focused on something else instead stay in the Guilty loop. And I was aware and kept telling myself, that thing happened in the past. It lived in the past. The only choice that I can do is awareness and don’t let that thing happened again. I think that’s all I can do. So, I just left my thoughts and focused on something else.

But it never been easy. Never.

As we all know, God always told us to forgive those who trespass against us. When I do confession. I believe God always forgives me. But I’m curious, did he forget the sins I have done?

Have you ever wonder about this?

I think he never forget. But he just never bring it up and against us. And this will be the great reminder that his mercy will have no end. His mercy will be there for us… always.

Then look back to ourselves.

Have you ever forgiven yourselves? At least for once?

I believe we all have something that we could not forget and forgive yourselves. Me neither. But at least we know that we would never let that thing happen again. We know how to prevent. We’ve learned. So, when we face our trigger. The only thing we can do it “looking it calmly”. And tell ourselves “It was the past, it happened in the past, we could not change anything. But we can do better, we know what is going to happen and lead us to it. We know how to prevent and don’t let that happen again.”

Seems easy!

Believe me, it’s not easy.

But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible, right?

Maybe we must practice that for our entire lives.

Just don’t give up on ourselves. We know we can do it. We will succeed in one day. If yesterday or today we don’t succeed, it’s okay. All people has been failed. No one never failed. I keep practicing. Sometimes I can deal it well. Sometimes I failed. Sometimes I was too tired. But I know myself that I don’t give up, I will not give up. When it tired me, I rested yes. But I never give up.

One day if we succeeded, we will be in peace. Peace in our minds, our hearts and our souls.

Then we will see that we can live with it peacefully. We know how to handle when we faced the trigger. We know how to make ourselves calmer and feel better sooner.

But we never forgot the trigger… never.

 

7 minutes

Nancy Jueng

7 minutes

Now.. 5.47AM. I woke up tooooooo early. I can go back to sleep but I didn’t. After I woke up and I didn’t want to go back to sleep so I find 7 minutes workout from youtube : “The Scientific 7-Minute Workout” :

The Scientific 7-Minute Workout

My best friend recommended for this work out. He did it 3 rounds o.O, just one round is okay for newbie like me hahahaha.

I’m thinking, what can I do for 7 minutes in a day? Someone will exercise like I did it today. Someone will do meditation, yoga to calm and focus in their mind.

For me, actually I used to write a daily journal diary in my notebook (real notebook, not laptop LOL). To recall daily what’s happening in my life. I noted both good and bad things or thinking and I will note two keywords are..

(D) –…

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ลืมนึกถึงตัวเอง

Nancy Jueng

ลืมนึกถึงตัวเอง

คนเราบางทีก็นึกถึงคนอื่นจนลืมนึกถึงตัวเอง

ลืมว่าตัวเราเองนั้นมีชีวิต มีจิตใจ มีความรู้สึก เช่นเดียวกันกับคนอื่น

เรามักจะนึกถึงความรู้สึกคนอื่นก่อนเสมอ…

การนึกถึงความรู้สึกของคนอื่นเป็นสิ่งที่ดี ที่ควรปฏิบัติ

แต่บางครั้งเราก็คิดถึงความรู้สึกของคนอื่นโดยที่ ละเลย จนกระทั่ง เบียดเบียนความรู้สึกของตัวเอง

ทำอย่างไร จึงจะนึกถึงคนอื่นให้น้อยลง..

ไม่สิ.. ต้องบอกว่า ทำอย่างไรจะนึกถึงตัวเองให้มากขึ้น

การนึกถึงตัวเองสำหรับเรา คือ…

รักตัวเอง

โอ๋ตัวเอง

ดูแลตัวเอง

พอเราทำทุกอย่างเพื่อดูแลความรู้สึกของตัวเองได้แล้ว

เราจะไม่มีเวลามานั่งนึกถึงความรู้สึกของคนอื่นเลย

ทำได้บ้างไม่ได้บ้างก็ไม่เป็นไร

เราเริ่มต้นดูแลตัวเองใหม่ได้ตลอดเวลา

เราไม่ได้บอกให้เห็นแก่ตัว

แต่เราต้องนึกถึงความรู้สึกคนอื่นอย่างมีขอบเขต

โดยที่ไม่ให้ความรู้สึกนั้นย้อนกลับมาทำร้ายเรา

เหมือนที่เราเคยได้ยินประโยคที่ว่า “เอ็นดูเขา เอ็นเราขาด”

ดังนั้น เวลาที่เรารู้ตัวว่าเอาความรู้สึกของตัวเองไปคิดถึงคนอื่น.. มากเกินไป..

เราต้องเอาตัวเองออกมาจากตรงจุดนั้น

และจะต้องกลับมาดูแลความรู้สึกของตัวเองให้ได้เร็วที่สุด

ตอนนี้เรามีตัวเราเอง

เราเป็นเจ้าของความคิดของตัวเอง

จึงต้องดูแลความคิด ความรู้สึกของตัวเองให้ดี

เราถึงจะสามารถดูแลความรู้สึกของคนอื่นได้

ถ้าวันนี้เรายังดูแลความรู้สึกของตัวเองไม่ได้

เราก็ไม่ควรที่จะยื่นมือไปดูแลความรู้สึกของคนอื่น

เริ่มต้นดูแลความรู้สึกของตัวเองเสียตั้งแต่วันนี้

ไม่ว่าผลลัพธ์จะออกมาเป็นอย่างไร

เราก็จะไม่เสียใจ…

ที่วันนี้เราได้เริ่มต้นดูแลความรู้สึกของตัวเอง…

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Take a deep breath

Last week was suck!!!

I was tired … tooooooo tired, I was depressed, I was stressed out, I cried a lot. There are many problems that I had to solve. There are many people that I had to handle.

Toooooooooooooooo tired. But I think I’m okay now.

Now I’m taking a deep breath…

Inhale… exhale…

Inhale… exhale…

Inhale… exhale…

I always say “Everything will be alright” to me. That’s absolutely true. Everything will get through and everything will be fine. There are many people who get in trouble, and they can handle. Me too. I think I can handle, even not in a good way but I think I can handle and accept consequences that from my decision to solve my problems.

I think the problem is, I focused everything, everybody but myself. I forgot myself, my happiness and my quality of life.

So from now on, I would focus on myself, my work, my financial, my health, my hobbies and my independent happiness. I have many things to do more than focus on everything but me.

Sorry to myself, that I forgot you for a moment.

So this week I would take care of myself more, take a break and take a deep breath. And just love myself more. And I would keep doing those things from now on…

Yes, everything will be alright.

7 minutes

7 minutes

Now.. 5.47AM. I woke up tooooooo early. I can go back to sleep but I didn’t. After I woke up and I didn’t want to go back to sleep so I find 7 minutes workout from youtube : “The Scientific 7-Minute Workout” :

The Scientific 7-Minute Workout

My best friend recommended for this work out. He did it 3 rounds o.O, just one round is okay for newbie like me hahahaha.

I’m thinking, what can I do for 7 minutes in a day? Someone will exercise like I did it today. Someone will do meditation, yoga to calm and focus in their mind.

For me, actually I used to write a daily journal diary in my notebook (real notebook, not laptop LOL). To recall daily what’s happening in my life. I noted both good and bad things or thinking and I will note two keywords are..

(D) – “D” [/diː/] that pronounce in Thai it means “good”. I will use “D” for a good thing or feeling or thinking that happened

(B) – “Bad” mean a bad thing or feeling or thinking that happened today

Such as…

“Today I woke up early (D) and I did 7 minutes workout (D) and I felt good (D). But my stomach is uncomfortable (B) maybe I never wake up toooooo early like this. Maybe it’s not get uses to…”

When I finish for daily journal, I will count number of good/bad things to summarize which one much more…

From my sample above, I got three “D” and one “B” .. so I can say today is a good day for me.

It’s easy to do just 7 minutes in a day. I try to do that every day to recall and to appreciate every day even that day is a bad day. If “B” are more than “D”, I will find a reason why I got “B” more than “D”. And I will try to change my behavior to prevent any bad thing/feeling/behavior. And tomorrow I will do my best. If I do the best every day, I will not regret and be relieved.

How about you? Today is good day right? Let’s share our good day. :)

Have a good Monday ^_______^ (GMT+7)